By Simone Okkels
Adoptees should be allowed to know his biological ancestry. It believes Maria Kling Holm, who today still do not know why she was given up for adoption from India. The information about her adoption is in fact extremely scarce.
For a long time she did not give it a thought. Wondered just why she was treated differently from the other kids in town, and just trying to fit into. Maria Kling Holm was given up for adoption from India and came to Denmark at just four months old. She remembers no other parents than the Danish couple who have taken care of her since they picked her up at the airport. Today she is 39 years and still does not know why she grew up in Birkeroed and not Bangalore.
“I have not been told anything but in my papers it said that I was with my mother until October, when I was delivered to an orphanage. It says nothing about why, “she says.
It also says she was born on 2 September 1974. She is not sure she believes it. As she says, “that one can not know.” Like she can only guess what happened up to her adoption.
“I have always been told by my adoptive parents that my birth mother had probably died or could not afford a child, and so I ended up as a street kid,” she says.
In search of her story
When in her mid-twenties she gave birth to her daughter, she saw things from a different perspective. A mother’s perspective. And the interest in finding his own biological mother and family were aroused. But with such a small child without a traveling companion hunting was postponed until last summer. Maria, her husband and now 14-year-old daughter flew off to India.
“We looked at my papers before we left. My father gave them to me, it was all he could do to help. I am adopted by individuals, so I do not know if there had been more helpful to be from one of the big organizations. But we called the orphanage, which I had always been told I was from, “said Maria Kling Holm.
The family arrived in Bangalore in southern India and knocked at the orphanage door. But they had no information about Maria.
“It was all a bit vague and weird. So we went to another orphanage where I might have been. It was in the papers, but it was not what I had always been told. My parents have always said that I came from the first orphanage. It’s weird, because it is not in the papers, but it was there that I for almost 40 years thought I came from, “she says.
At the second orphanage they were met by arrogance and sparse information. The orphanage, would hand over nothing to Mary, but they promised to send an e-mail. She has not heard from them. But before they flew north again, visited the hospital in Bangalore.
“They were very helpful. They found a notebook in which all who had been born way back to 1952, was written into, “says Maria Kling Holm.
“When we sat with the book,the official said, there are four girls who were born there on 2 September 1974.Vi ask to get the names. But then he pulled ashore. You would not give us. Now we came this far, we had the book in front of us and they would not give us anything. ”
Maria and her husband asked to speak with the head of the hospital. But they were told that Mary should just be glad she had a good life. The names they could not give because they did not know whether the mother would not approve, and then it was illegal to disclose.
“It was so frustrating when we had come so far. The Indians do not have a better attitude than the Danes. Everyone thinks you should just forget it and be happy. It’s not that I’m not grateful. But even Danes want to know their parents, whether you’re adopted or not, “she says.
‘Adoptions must be more open’
Although some have been changed during years of Maria grew up in Denmark, she wishes that adoptions were ??more open. For example, as with donor children who can have a conversation with their biological parents when they turn 18. It could Maria well imagine, would apply to adopted children too.
“I tried to find my family, and imagine if they were looking for me, or hoped to be found. So is it terrible, whenever some other people decide that we can not find each other, “she says.
“You can think what really is true. What is right. How much is being held back, and who is holding it back. ‘
Therefore, it seems to Maria, it is important that the adoptees are heard in the debate over the case.
“I think more attention must be given to meet the adopted person’s needs and not just adoptive parents. It is not a product to sell, but it can feel that way. Just because a Western couple can not have children, and want it at any cost, so damn the information. ”
Maria emphasizes that she is doing well today with his family and her job as a violinist in the Royal Chapel. She has no idea whether she would be dead or had lived in poverty if she had not been given up for adoption. She still does not know why she ended up where she did.
“I want to follow it through. We have almost been considering finding a private detective. I will do everything I can and know I’ve done everything I could. But I do not know what to do. I’ve never tried this before, “she says.
“It’s not that I’m not happy. I just think it’s a human right to know one’ identity. ”